Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fundraiser & Brother Mike

It is Thursday Oct 28th. We leave for Albany Sunday (Halloween).
I got a call today from Nancy, a Nurse Practitioner in Albany. She advised me to take the Valium, because "it'll take the edge off." So I think I will. Sister Mary says to do it just for the high. Once she had to take Valium and it stayed with her 'til the next day when she found herself giggling in her aerobics class and feeling no pain.

My Mom held a fundraiser for me by contacting my siblings and gently twisting their arms. This is why it is awesome to come from a big family. Well wishes and inspirational thoughts all round. With a big family you don't have to go far for a fuundraiser. And it will help immensely. Now that takes the edge off.

My brother Mike just called. We have a special connection. He's going on a spiritual retreat on the Magaguadavic river and I get that. He has a camp that he built on that river and for a month he is going there alone to get back in touch with himself and the river. The Magaguadavic is a spirit place. You can feel the purity and peace. I think it changes people. You can be close to God there - if you only listen. Michael is going there to listen.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Surrender. I love that word. I said a prayer to St. Joseph today and that was part of my petition. Can you pray for more than one thing in a sitting? I prayed for peace in my heart and for the ability to surrender to the will of God. And I think it's working. Then I looked at a small prayer sitting on my dresser across the room -it sits like a little book etched in glass. It was from Charlotte. Imagine that. I have carted it with me from house to house and it has survived. It is the Serenity Prayer, you know the one. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." So my day has started off on the right foot. And this all before I have let the dogs out and sang to the the girl.I sing her "Morning has Broken" mostly every day. Today is Tuesday and on Sunday we travel to Albany, New York. On Monday November 1st I will have the angioplasty procedure. Monday is All Saints Day and my friend Father Mark says that's a good thing. He says all the Saints will be praying for me. Cool. Father Mark is one of the good guys. I wish they were all like that.
Peace out,

Thursday, October 7, 2010

October 7, 2010 and countdown to Liberation!
I've been working at the College and I have been so god-awful tired. Don't get me wrong, I love the work and I want to continue working there but the fatigue is a tough one. I only teach there two mornings a week but after work on Wednesday I can barely breathe. I drag my body through the campus trying to remember what it was like when I was strong. I try to conjure images of me capable and fearless. Was I ever like that? I thought I was. I have been kicked on my butt by this and still it will not take me. It will not win. Last week I had to pick up a 5 page test for 100 students. Heavy. It was pouring rain and I had a cane. A nice woman, weathered and kind, suggested I hang the blue Georgian bag I was carrying over my head. Is this funny or pathetic? The students don't care, they don't even notice. They are busy huddling under the awning and sucking on their smokes. They don't care. So I head to the car, bag over head, leather purse slung over my shoulder and cane in right hand. The weather is fierce. Wind blowing, rain stinging, god-pushing fierce. I figure this is my Everest, my mountain to climb. Epiphany. See, we all have our challenges, it is relative. I am not an Olympian. But on this day I am a survivor, and I will make it to the safety of my dry car.